Woman leaves boyfriend after secretly checking his shared expenses spreadsheet and realizing she’s been paying for half his stuff, boyfriend defends it: ‘We both benefit from my gym gains’

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Apr 27, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Splitting expenses in modern relationships can be tricky territory, especially before marriage or moving in together. Some couples go full 50/50, others divide based on income, and some just play it fast and loose with Venmo requests and vibes. But no matter what method you use, transparency is key. Unfortunately, one woman learned the hard way that "splitting things evenly" can look very different depending on who's holding the spreadsheet.

After agreeing to go halves on shared costs like groceries and household items, she discovered her boyfriend had been slipping in a few personal expenses. And by "a few," we mean PS5 controllers, whey protein, Steam games, and even beard oil. Yep. Beard oil. When she confronted him, he justified it by saying she "benefited from his gym gains." Sir, what? 

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  • Rather than ignore the red flags, she called off the move and is now wondering if she overreacted. Personally, we'd say she dodged a financial AND manipulative bullet.

  • ENTERTAINME Ado WE T NDRED DOLL
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  • "AITAH for backing out of moving in with my boyfriend after secretly checking his “shared expenses” spreadsheet and realizing he was charging me for stuff he bought for himself?"

    1 (24F) was supposed to move in with my boyfriend (26M) next month. We've been together almost two years, and this was a big step. We agreed early on to split expenses 50/50, and he made a Google
    via NotCoffeeAddict
  • Sheet where he'd log shared purchases — groceries, household items, etc. I was sending him money monthly based. on that. The other night he left the spreadsheet open while in
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  • the shower. I wasn't snooping I literally sat down at his desk, and it was right there. But I noticed some weird line items, so I started scrolling.
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  • He'd been adding things like: • "PS5 controller" "Whey protein" • "Uber to poker night” • "Steam games" • "Bluetooth speaker" "Beard oil" (???)
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  • Stuff that was clearly just for him. I checked back months and realized I'd been unknowingly covering hundreds of dollars for things that had nothing to
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  • do with me. I was so shocked I took photos of the spreadsheet. When I confronted him, he barely blinked. Said, "Well you use the speaker sometimes," and "We both
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  • benefit from my gym gains." He acted like I was being petty and said I was "blowing things out of proportion." I told him I wasn't comfortable moving in
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    How about the "Uber to poker night." How did he justify that one?!?

  • anymore. He flipped out — called me dramatic, said I was sabotaging our future over "a few receipts." Now our friends are divided. Some say I
    via NotCoffeeAddict
  • should've just talked to him before making a big decision. Others say it's a huge red flag. I feel bad, but also... I feel like I dodged a bullet. AITAH for walking away?
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  • BeachCatDog "We both benefit from my gym gains" Holy moly.
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  • AND he asks you to mail him money for his expenses? AND he has repeatedly taken the money?!?! He thinks you are stupid, and he is better than you.
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  • Wow. That is shocking. Can you imagine when you are pregnant or have a newborn baby? He will hate your figure, and be mad that you are not earning enough money.
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  • Old_Relief201 NTA. You didn't dodge a bullet, you avoided a financial nightmare. His
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  • nonchalant attitude about charging you for his personal expenses and his reaction to your concerns are major red flags. Trust your instincts and prioritize your financial well- being.
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  • Pine TreesAreMyJam Why are you splitting expenses with someone you don't live with?
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  • Upsidedownmeow NTA and the bet if you tried to charge him half your birth control and doctors visits for women's health he would say no.
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  • Starlitblloom like it's not even just the money, it's the way he tried to gaslight u after gettin caught?? u
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  • been payin for his beard oil and protein powder n he talkin abt. "we both benefit" like wym?? that spreadsheet was supposed to be about shared stuff and he used it to
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  • scam u. if u moved in he woulda kept doin it or worse, so nah u did the smart thing. better to find out now than be stuck tryna split rent with a man who treats u like a piggy bank.
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  • SinfulCelestee Girl if he's comfy lying abt money now, imagine what else he'd pull once y'all actually lived together. like it's
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  • not just the money, it's the fact he didn't even feel bad or try to fix it. instead he gaslit u like u were being dramatic?? nah that's some manipulative sh. u did
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  • the right thing walking away bc trust n honesty matter way more than some fake future he's mad abt losing.
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  • Shadowpetail You made the right call, that man was already showin u how he handles money and "fairness" before even
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  • living together. like wym we both benefit from his beard oil?? tf? and the way he brushed it off instead of being. embarrassed or apologizing says a lot. u
    via Shadowpetail
  • didn't just dodge a bullet, u dodged a whole financial trap. keep trusting ur gut, it's loud for a reason.
    via Shadowpetail

Tags

roomate boyfriend expenses living together bad dates spreadsheet petty revenge relationships girlfriend breakup money karma entitled people
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